I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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