just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
Randomize
