Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
Randomize
