my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
You had me at "let me see your balls"
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
Randomize
