Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
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