He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
Randomize
