so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
