Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
This is my gift to your gina
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
Randomize
