Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
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