He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
I made my uber driver take a pit stop between clubs so we could restock on Xanax. #priorities
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
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