I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Randomize
