Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
Randomize
