You can't motorboat a personality
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
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