i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
Randomize
