You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
Randomize
