She said her name was "party"
Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
Randomize
