i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
too bad you live with your parents still
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
Randomize
