there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
Randomize
