when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
