he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize
