I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Randomize
