great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
Randomize
