Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
Mom said you looked used
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
there is glitter all over my balls
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
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