well you can't waste a boner
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
Randomize
