jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
Randomize