She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
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