Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
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