You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
Randomize
