But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
Randomize
