shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
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