from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
You may now shotgun with the bride
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
Randomize