The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
I came so hard my ears popped.
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
Randomize
