It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
Randomize
