I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
tell me about the eggs
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
Randomize
