So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
So I answered the door in my underwear expecting my boyfriend. Instead I opened the door to Mormon missionaries. Do you think that was a sign from God?
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
So many bounce houses so little time
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
Randomize
