After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Randomize