Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
Randomize
