at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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