It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
Randomize
