i just had sex bonerless
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
Be still, my beating vagina.
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
Randomize
