That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
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