Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
Randomize
