look no pants
it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
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