weddingsv make me drug and hornr
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
Randomize
