Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
Randomize
