Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
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