dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
Brb crying the tears of my youth
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
Randomize