did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize
