she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
Randomize