whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
Church boner. Awkwardddd
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
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