Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize
