I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
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