dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
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