Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
