if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
Randomize
