I saw his package. It spoke to me.
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
Randomize
