I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
Randomize
