So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
Randomize
