Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
Randomize
