Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
Randomize
