I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
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