Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
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