If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
Say something about gay babies.
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
Randomize
