Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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