I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
Randomize