i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
Randomize
