This show inspires me to have sex in space
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well.
Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand.
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
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